The Gemini on Cooking 4 The Haterz

Being a Big City Gal, I pay an exorbitant amount of rent for my relatively small  apartment. Don’t get me wrong, I love where I live and I pay about $300 less for a comparative place anywhere else in the neighborhood. Plus, after moving 4 times in the span of one year, I’m in no rush to switch apartments (until I move to New York with the Libra, of course).

Anyway, the downside of my living arrangements is that my kitchen is severely lacking in space. I can literally spread my arms out and almost touch both walls and it consists solely of a fridge, sink, and oven. There is zero counter space, so if I want any I have to either use the stovetop or a kitchen cart I wisely bought in 2008–one that I usually use more as a mailholder than a place to cut up vegetables.

As a result, I don’t cook much. I’ve never been a big breakfast fan so I usually just down a Diet Coke when I finally drag myself into work at 9:45, followed by a frozen dinner for lunch. Dinner is where I run into the dilemma. Do I really want to cook? Or do I just want to boil some spinach or eat a bowl of cereal and call it a night? In a kitchen like mine, even defrosting a chicken breast can seem like an effort and I usually end up eating a completely random dinner. I’ve been known to eat just eat half a jar of salsa for my evening meal. No chips, just a fork and some tomatoes/cilantro. Healthy!

My point is this–at what point are you supposed to grow up and make “real” meals? Granted, I no longer make Kraft mac & cheese with Sprite and mayonnaise instead of milk and butter, but still. I can’t even look to the Food Network for inspiration. I would love to roast chicken for all my gay friends like Ina, but I don’t have the energy (or space) for all that. The only inspiration I get from Sandra Lee is at cocktail time. And every time I try to watch Bobby Flay, I’m too distracted by his chiseled jaw to learn how to grill.

I feel like this could all be solved if the Food Network had just picked up the cooking show the Libra and I pitched in college, tentatively titled Cooking 4 The Haterz. Don’t worry, when we finally make it to Chelsea we’ll spend our afternoons hanging around Chelsea Market until we finally sneak in get invited to the Food Network HQ upstairs and convince them to give us a shot. Look for us next fall, sandwiched (Get it? You get it.) between episodes of Paula giving all her viewers heart attacks.

–The Gemini


About Famous For Bad Reasons

Pop Culture and Feelings, brought to you by two people with too much regard for the former and no regard for the latter.
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