Here at FFBR we used to have a rivalry with Hal Sparks. This was mostly due to our love of “Queer as Folk” and our distaste for Hal, even though he was a Libra. At the time he’d been quoted (or misquoted, as he claims) as saying making out with men was making out with dogs. We found this suspect. After all, who wouldn’t want to make out with Gale Harold?
Admittedly, our rivalry was mostly one-sided.
However, one day he commented on a blog post we’d made about him– when we were blogging as “Goofus and Gallant” at a certain social network that’s growing more and more obsolete. I’d written a post in response to one of his diatribes against people who dislike public displays of affection. At the time he found nothing more charming than people groping each other in public. I was appalled.
An excerpt from my piece about Hal:
Hal Sparks, first of all, we salute your heterosexual, Suicide Girls-loving, KISS-obsessing, straight-edge, thick-eyeliner lifestyle. We love that you make jokes about cunnilingus and lemon rinds and French people, even if we can’t find the heart to laugh about it (this could be due to our lack of connections in our life). I can’t even count the number of times Goofus and I sat back with wine and Fresca and pasta to watch Queer as Folk, toasting you everytime you affectionately blinked your eyes at Gale Harold. There is something beautiful, and tragic, about you, like a heroine from a Hitchcock film. May I call you Marnie, Marnie? From one Libra to another, I salute you—maybe not sincerely, but beggars can’t be choosers, Hal.
Without further ado, here was his response in 2007:
Hal Sparks pegged us exactly: FFBR.
We’re on the right track,