Hi! Apparently you missed our recent post full of helpful advice for you. And you’re ignoring me on twitter, which is just rude, so I thought I’d try this again. For the sake of both you and any future girlfriend you may have, I really hope you see it!
Let’s recap. Before my last bit of advice to you, you and Sam had been involved in a truly nauseating cycle of fighting, making up, screaming in Sam’s face, and once again declaring you’re ~done~ before getting back together and starting all over again. This all came to a head when Sam had the nerve to dance with someone at a club, at which point you went psycho, destroyed all her belongings, and tried to throw her off a bed, before crying in the bathroom when she finally wised up and left.
But now you’re broken up again because Samantha had the nerve to TEXT A FRIEND while you were broken up! THE HORROR!
And, to top it off, she had MADE OUT with this guy THREE YEARS AGO! As in, two years before she even had the displeasure of you coming into her life. Wow. We’re really entering slut territory now! Oh, sorry, to use your term—“sneaky bitch” territory. Obviously the logical reaction is to go on a rampage in which you lock her in a bathroom and scream in her face even as she yells to let her go.
Uh, NO. You are an abusive psycho and your hypocrisy and general awfulness as a human being is truly overwhelming.
When Jersey Shore focuses on dumb stuff like Sitch sending Snooki and Deena to Manhattan on a prank, it’s honestly one of the most (mindlessly) entertaining shows on TV. When the attention turns to this relationship, it’s both uncomfortable and unbearable to watch. So, Ronnie, for the sake of everyone involved, I hope you fall into a fountain in Italy and they all leave your ass there.