The Libra Contemplates an Alleged Hollywood Murder

There is a rumor that Christopher Walken was an eyewitness, or an aid, to the alleged murder of Natalie Wood. Now, if you know the story of Natalie Wood’s death, you know she couldn’t swim and drowned when she, I guess, “fell off the boat” her drunk husband was piloting. And then just drowned because I guess it was impossible to save her? Like, whoops, I dropped my cell phone in the ocean, guess it’s ruined? Whoops, I dropped my wife? So, “accidental death” it is.

If you live in Hollywood, like my father does, you get to hear a lot of stories that will never make it to the public– the murders, the sex scandals, the beards and the trophies. And personally, I don’t think I should put “having a beard” in the same category as “murdering someone.” Back then, as in now, you could do a lot of shit, stuff even FFBR wouldn’t approve of, and your fame would act as a Get Out of Jail Free Card. (For more info on less murderous things the studios did, see also: arranged dates between Tab Hunter and Natalie Wood– LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.)

Now, why is the Libra waxing about this?

This is just a friendly reminder that the Good Guys aren’t always so good. Christopher Walken’s twitter may be hi-lar-ious (does he still have that? Was that two years ago?), but a good number of people think he’s a big old murderer. (Note: for those of you with shaky morals, if you watch someone get murdered and don’t report, you are a total murderer!)

Even my father thinks this.

I’m saying this because in addition to my father thinking Christopher Walken’s a murderer, he also wrote a script in the early 90s for his BFF who died before the script could be produced. And since then, he’s been toting this script around, waiting for the next face equally ghoulish to his BFF’s to appear so he can typecast that person as a killah. And he said, “Only Walken carries that same ghoulishness in his presence that BFF did.”

And I was like, thinking, “But all of those facelifts…”

But my dad was thinking, “Even if he is a murderer…”

Protip: don’t hire a murderer. If you think someone’s a murderer, even though s/he hasn’t been convicted and never will be, don’t hire that person. Even if it would make you a billion, billion dollars! Don’t hire that person! At the end of the day your morals are actually more important than your money. Like murder-morals, not sex tape morals. Just don’t do it. Come on, seriously.

–The Libra


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5 Responses to The Libra Contemplates an Alleged Hollywood Murder

  1. Crimson says:

    You are joking, right? Because if you’re serious, you obviously have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t care who your father is or where he lives, only conspiracy nuts think Walken had anything to do with Natalie’s death…the same type of people who believe the moon landing was staged. And if you are joking then I question your morals because murder is not something to make light of.

    • I never said it was true. I just said my father is the type of person to hire someone he thinks is a murderer. But you have the right to your opinion. And no, I don’t take murder lightly.

      Greetings from the moon,
      The Libra

  2. Tiffany says:

    Weird that it’s supposed to be about how much he loved her, yet over 50% of it is talking about his acting career. Just sayin.

  3. Kathy McMann says:

    You should check out Marti Rulli’s blog, just google her name. She’s the author of the book Goodbye Natalie (along with the captain of the SPlendour, Dennis Davern who witnessed what led to Natalie’s death and polygraphed his story for the book). Rulli more than adequately proves your father right.

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