I have a friend coming to the city to meet up with a fairly famous person. I’m leaving it anonymous for a number of reasons, but the point is, she’s not in a position of power. Why? ‘Cause in case you failed to notice, long-time reader of this blog that you are, famous people get away with ridiculous shit. It’s PR, and it’s a way of life in American culture.
This famous guy had originally offered her a place to sleep, and then he retracted it. So, now she has to stay in Brooklyn with me (quelle horreur), and I’m like, what a douchebag.
I’ve gone to a lot of concerts where men play instruments well, but no better than anyone else. They all have really cute girlfriends who always appear mildly fragile, wearing Anthropologie dresses with adorably sloppy hair. They could be models and probably are. But I always worry about them. Like, what happens if things end with this person? They’re going to be the ex-girlfriend of someone in a band, and oh my god, that’s the worst because the songs are going to follow them everywhere.
I like Emmy the Great because from the sound of lyrics, she’s had to hang out with famous people or watch people she’s loved turn famous, while she read poetry books and tried to be a girl:
So, Ladies, if you’re going to date a musician, have the gall to play music yourself. If you’re going to date an actor, make sure you’re planning on being a famous director someday and busting your butt on a set somewhere. And whatever you do, don’t become a famous actress who dates a string of musicians because I feel like that’s awkward and doesn’t seem to work out very well (Winona Ryder, I’m looking at you. You, too, Kate Hudson.) If you’re going to date wealthy bank heirs, whatever you do please teach me how to pronounce their last names because I just don’t know!
Mostly, I want you Ladies to stop looking so fragile and look like you are the famous ones, too. Now, to inspire you, please go watch The Runaways on Netflix. I couldn’t stop laughing and wanting to hug Kristen Stewart, which is an alien feeling for me.