1.) The Gemini is going with the Other Libra to the Jersey Shore this weekend. Requests to replace The Gemini should she not return because she’s accidentally eloped with the Situation and gotten all kinds of messed up can be left in the comments.
2.) The Libra is obsessing over the following ear candy: Tristen (the awesome musician who opened for The Elected), Emmy the Great’s new album Virtue, and the duo Forest City Lovers, recommended to her by a friend from college we’ll just call Libra Elbows (she and the Libra had a penchant for shouting that they had Libra Elbows together while posing for pictures; no idea why, except the adorbs follies of youth).
3.) The Libra found a piece furniture on the street, similar to The Gemini’s experience (minus the booze), after having a 9 am craving for diet coke. (Note: The Libra, normally very healthy, has only been craving terrible food and drink products all way. Maybe it’s a quarter-life crisis.)
4.) Word got to The Gemini and The Libra that one of our Friends had a terrible dating adventure: the Friend found herself dating a Clinger, who got depressed too easily after learning that our Friend was relocating to another city for her job. “I don’t want you to go,” the Clinger said, as if he had known her his whole life instead of 24 hours. Our Friend, despite our repeated advice to delete his number, found herself continuing to go out with him. What do you think happened next? She found herself in a hotel room with him and another man they found at a bar, both men trying to get shirtless and threesome-y with her. She then ran very far away, texted both of us this story, and proceeded to go about her day in the midst of a hangover. We told our Friend, “It’s not FFBR if you’re too ashamed to attach your name to it. It’s just upsetting.”
5.) There is so much to love about these tweets from Mindy Kaling:
That’s all for today, guys. Remember: “Thug never means having to say you’re sorry” (Weeds, season 3.)
–Famous For Bad Reasons