As our faithful readers know, the Gemini and I have a love/hate relationship with Guy Fieri (who’s like the Adam Richman of the Food Network). We love to watch him smear himself in the grease of various animals, leaking all over like the collective goo of those really sad nursing homes you rarely frequent.
According to Videogum, apparently Guy Fieri is a jerk in real life who isn’t comfortable around gay men and who makes all the women uncomfortable by staring at their boobs.
Next you’re going to tell me that butter’s bad for me and that Paula Deen doesn’t have my best interests at heart!
Let’s all remember the Guy Fieri we care about– the one who takes massive amounts of food, shoves it in his mouth, and then makes awkward jokes on screen as, like, porkbelly clings to that facial hair that makes many women uncomfortable. Physically uncomfortable. Let’s remember him as a body, a gurgling body of marbled fat and love (of marbled fat).