Our Special Jersey Shore Correspondent on Tonight’s Big Return*

I wasn’t really excited for this season of Jersey Shore until about an hour ago. Someone mentioned Jerzday on Facebook and, let’s be honest with ourselves, this show still delivers. So I got excited. Sure, the show eventually got too big for its own good–they were basically the first reality TV stars to have a multi-season show and become famous from that show, thus royally fucking up the fourth wall. But I can’t not watch, even if this is how I remember 90% of the last season:

(Side note: how great is YouTube for allowing things like this to exist? It makes no sense. I love it.)

You have to come back for Snooki and JWOWW, Pauly and Vinny. You have to put up with SamRon and Sitch. You have to hope that Deena spontaneously combusts–keep your fingers crossed y’all (Ed. note: Prayer Circle is in progress).

You have to come back for what could happen instead of what you know will ultimately happen–see video above.

You have to watch to live tweet it because it’s dumb and Twitter is made for quick snipes at a show like this. Live tweeting JS is keeping this alive for me more than anything–follow me @cheedelt. (I bet you’re sitting there thinking ‘I bet he’s going to look and see if he got any more followers after this goes up.’ You’re gotdamn right I’m going to check for a jump in followers. You know Kanye knows how many people follow him on Twitter and I’m just following my New Year’s resolution to be more like Yeezy this year.)

(Ed. note: You also have to watch it to see me in the background).

Tonight should be a typical premiere episode–not much substance, just a “heeeey, we’re back. Sorry about last season. Here’s a little fun for you and we’ll call it a night after 37 minutes, k?” We all know what’s going to happen: They’ll drink and go to Karma, Snooki will dramatically profess her love for the Shore way too many times (I’ll set the line at +/- 15 and the over looks nice), JWOWW will continue to attempt to make facial expressions, Ron and Sam will bicker at each other (“RAAAAAAAAAHN STAAAAAAAAAAAHP”), Sitch will either fail to pick up a girl at Karma or he’ll find a clinger, Vinny and Pauly will make up a word or a phrase that they’ll wear out for a few episodes until they come up with a new one, and Deena will continue to ride Snooki’s coat tails. I know what’s coming.

But I can’t not watch.

*(Ed. note: Obviously the real big return tonight is the Vampire Diaries, but I guess JS is a close second.)

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About Famous For Bad Reasons

Pop Culture and Feelings, brought to you by two people with too much regard for the former and no regard for the latter.
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