We live in a culture that eroticizes and makes mockery of the boob. It’s why I’m saying “boob” and not “breast.” It’s why women are often shunned if they breastfeed in public. It’s why I get looks when I’m wearing something low-cut and sauntering down the avenue. The issue of what ladies do with their breasts even infiltrates into business casual (nothing too revealing, or your supervisor may be talking to you about your décolletage). With wardrobe malfunctions and push up bras and sex tapes and beer ads, boobs dominate everything.
But Jesus Christ, with all this talk about boobs, we should be talking about the most important aspect: a proper fitting.
So, for you ladies reading this, one of my greatest fashion tips is to find a small chain or independently owned business that fits ladies, and head on over. BOOB LOVE. I went to Intimacy, a small chain, on Third and 62nd in NYC, where I was greeted by a friendly, adorable crew. They fetched me water while I stared around, trying to will myself to be comfortable with being topless in a bit.
There are many hilarious things about being a woman in western culture. You get to shop for embarrassingly titled products emblazoned with pink lettering. You get catcalled by strangers who want you to just adore them for objectifying you. Your anatomy is discussed publicly more than men’s. Then you get to pick up magazines that tell you how to focus on pleasing the anatomy of men, all while you’re being told to buy embarrassing products for your vagina. Then you’re expected to live on a planet where men conflate PMS and menstruation, as if they’re the same thing– both are seen as detriments to your character.
By hilarious, of course, I mean awful.
When I got my bra fitting, this is what happened: I was treated respectfully and as if I were being helped into a pair of jeans. I was like HELL YEAH I COULD GET USED TO THIS.
Could you imagine a world where your boobs aren’t really that big of a deal? I mean, sure, they can make you look good and be a part of your aesthetic, but maybe not in such a DUUUUDE way, you know? Is that too much to ask for? Like, I’m okay with your general appreciation of my boobs, but I’d like it to be more– you know– like how it feels to be helped into classy, well-designed bras.
1.) Boobs are fabulous, no matter what they look like.
2.) Go get a proper bra fitting, especially at a place with a friendly crew. You have every right to run away if the service is unkind.
3.) Spend money on nice, well-designed bras. It’ll make you feel great.
4.) World, be nicer to boobs. They didn’t do anything to hurt you.